I don't know where to start...

...so, I'll start here (and sorry in advance if this isn't very eloquent).  These past few days I have had the curse and privilege to indirectly experience my worst nightmare as a mother and a wife.  This past Saturday, 2/5/11, our area had a little freak snow storm that was not expected by most, if anyone.  We were called to have about an inch or two of snow, mostly coming in the evening.  Well, snow started around 1p and it was falling faster and heavier than predicted.  I was driving it in as it started falling, thankfully not on the interstate, but I was shocked by the intensity and lack of visibility and was nervous as I was just driving a couple miles to a friend's house.  Little did I know at this same time a family was traveling on I-94 where conditions quickly worsened to whiteout conditions.  Apparently they had just pulled to the side of the interstate as they saw cars ahead of them getting into accidents.  Their van was then hit by a semi truck.  A 37-week pregnant woman was sitting in the back seat of the van with her husband and her parents were in the front.  The pregnant mother was transported to a nearby hospital where she died and her baby was delivered, but had no heart beat.  The baby was able to be revived and ventilated.  For the past three days numerous people have been praying for this family and the father (who had minor injuries) and had just lost his wife and now had to stay strong for his little one and pray for a miracle.  Sadly, after three days there was no improvement or brain activity.


Thankfully this family has a deep faith.  The father has been keeping a blog since he found out he was going to be a father last June and he continued to update it after the accident.  His deep faith and trust in God and the way he was able to get through these last few days is absolutely amazing to me.  I can not imagine going through what he has gone through and dealing with it with such grace.  He has praised God every day and was able to sing hymns last night after he took his precious baby off life support and held her while she went to be with her mother and Jesus in Heaven.  


I am well aware that there are tragedies like this every day.  This is not the first time I've shed tears over a patient's story.  For some reason though this particular story and family have really impacted me and my husband.  I've tried to chalk it up to the fact that it's because I'm a mother and wife and again, could not imagine dealing with that type of pain and loss.  It's definitely made me hug my kids a little tighter and say 'I love you' a little more.  But, like I said earlier, this IS my worst nightmare.  If you know me, you know I have abandonment issues and the thought of being alone (for life, not for a few hours...or days) freaks me out to no end.  


This father and husband has amazed me and shown me what trusting God in every situation really means.  I hope I will never have to understand this man's pain, yet I hope I can also learn from this tragedy and not only live every day like it's my last, but also to not sweat the small stuff like I almost always do and remember to praise God in the good times and the bad.