When we are engaged, newly married and/or pregnant, there are numerous people giving us unwanted advice that drives us absolutely insane, right? I mean, we may find out at some point that their advice was good advice, but whether it ends up being good or not, most of us do not like unsolicited advice (i.e. "enjoy the first year of marriage, it's all downhill from there!" or "You need to go home and have lots of sex to get that baby out!") So, why on earth would we indirectly (or directly) do that to other mothers when we know from our own experience they are just as worried, confused and learning as they go as we are?! And why would we judge them for their decisions?
The article above talks about this, yet on a more extreme level. Briefly, it talks about a blog for mothers in D.C. to offer insight, advice, etc. on life as a mom in D.C. Unfortunately it has morphed into name-calling, judging and all out war between moms! This is sad, but I will admit I have done some judging of my own, not on whether you're ruining your kid's life by not breastfeeding or going back to work, not about what school you choose to send your kid(s) and not about what car you drive or what house you live in. The article talks about mothers judging each other by what stroller they use and I suddenly felt a twinge in my side. I do this, I admit, BUT only on one front and that would be those crazy $800-$1000 strollers I see being pushed around! Why on earth would you spend that much money on a stroller?!?! Unless they can soothe your child when they start fussing, feed them and wipe their butts, there is no reason to spend that much money on them whether you can afford them or not. Now, if you can afford them it is totally your prerogative to purchase one, but again I say, why? That could be a few car payments or better yet, put that aside for your kid's college tuition or even their current school's tuition if they're going to a private school! And I could be wrong in saying this, but I've never seen a toddler in these expensive strollers? Is that possible? Before I end this rant/confession, in the article it talks about these mothers judging your stroller this way: Buggaboo owners are rich and fad-oriented, Maclaren owners are upper middle-class and highly educated, while Graco owners are poor. So, I own a Maclaren AND a Graco...so what does that say about me?! So yes, I am judgmental when I feel like people are wasting their money on things that don't really improve their lives or have any worth for a long period of time. While that is my opinion, I would not call someone a name or insinuate they were rich, poor or otherwise from certain gear they own because we all know people who buy things they CAN'T afford and then there are those who will say that "it was a gift", so then I can say the gift-giver is wasting money! :)
All joking and sarcasm aside, I wanted to blog about this because I truly feel that we need to lift each other up as mother's and be there for each other when we do have the courage to ask for help/advice. I am one of those people who don't like to ask for help, so it takes a lot for me to ask and when I finally do, I don't want to be judged or made to feel stupid. And who are we to judge someone's choice(s) when it comes to raising our kids? Who cares if you send your child to public or private school? My husband went to a public school and got a w-a-y better education than I did at a private school, but if you can afford to send your kid to a private school, go for it (and if you can't, it's not a big deal. There are GREAT public schools out there!). Who cares what stroller you decide to push around? Everyone has their preferences. The only reason I own a Maclaren on top of a Graco travel system is because it's lighter and easier to use. Travel systems are not shopping-friendly! Who cares whether you live in the city or in the suburbs? Does that really means anything in grand scheme of things (or the not-so-grand scheme of things)?
Being a mommy is a wonderful, hard, time-consuming, tiring, intense, fun, magical, never-ending, awesome ride that most of us all have in common! So, unless you see two toddlers running around the airport barefoot while drinking Coke from a bottle, there is no need to judge!